self carea amid adversity

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Self Care Amid Adversity

I am not a mental health expert, just a woman trying to live a simple life and sharing what I learn along the way.

Self Care amid adversity…when those around you don’t understand your need for self care and shame you for it. Typically these people don’t practice self care, therefore they don’t understand that self care is not selfish.

Adversity to self care can, sadly, come at times when your self care is the most important. Times of high stress or depression such as divorce are the times when your self care should absolutely not be put on hold. Such situations can have a devastating effect on mental health. During these times you need to increase your self care, not skip it. The post Self Care in the New Year has a list of apps to help you get started.

Don’t skip your self care

Let’s talk about divorce

It may sound strange, but divorce can be self care. Actually, this is an example of a time that you may face adversity in your need for self care. I realize this statement may be controversial but hear me out.

If you are in a bad situation that has become abusive in one way or another it is not healthy to stay in the relationship. “For better or for worse” does not include abuse.

Abuse can be how someone talks to you, not just physical. Being bullied or kept separated from family or friends.

Abuse is not just physical

If you are ashamed to talk to family or friends because you feel bad about yourself or your situation then you are in an unhealthy, possibly abusive, relationship. (Read my post on Negative Self Talk.)

This is when leaving and/or divorcing a partner is self care.; you have to do what is best for you regardless of the “advice” you get. Only YOU can decide what is best for you.

Best for you

It can be easy for someone on the outside looking in to think you are over-reacting (adversity) but they don’t live your life everyday, you do. Talk to a variety of family and friends and find those that will support you in whatever you choose to do; the ones that will be there for you no matter what. (Self Care)

self care

The people that want to tell you what to do regardless of what is best for you should be avoided. This means you may have to set some boundaries which can be difficult for both sides, but in the end, you are your first concern. An example of self care amid adversity.

People won’t like it when you set boundaries with them but if they truly care for you they will get over it. They may even respect you more for it, it shows your strength. 

Set boundaries

How to practice Self Care Amid Adversity

Find those people who will listen and support you in your choice and talk to them on a regular basis.

Meditation is a powerful tool for self care. There are apps that will guide you through meditations, I use the Calm app.

Journaling! So powerful! When you keep a journal, it allows you to get all those thoughts out of your head so you can think straight. You can tell your journal anything because it will keep your secrets.

Journals keep secrets

Yoga/exercise alllows you to burn off energy and releases endorphins.

Another powerful tool is counseling. My experience with counseling gave me the confidence to act on the decisions I had already made but was afraid to do. You don’t even have to go in to an office anymore, you can talk to a counselor online now. Click here for online counseling to get help with the adversity you are facing in your self care.

self care

What about the kids?

I hear you asking this question and my answer to you is this…When a parent does what is best for themselves by leaving a bad situation, the kids gain a happier, mentally and emotionally healthier parent. 

The kids will be okay. Depending on their age, they may even applaud you for standing up for yourself and doing the right thing.

Remember, you put your oxygen mask on first, then theirs.

You are worth it!

It can be difficult to practice self care amid adversity but I encourage you to press on and do what is best for you. Self care makes you a stronger, happier, healthier person. This allows you to be able to care for those you love better. 

Here are links to all my posts on Self Care. 

  1. Negative Self Talk
  2. Self Care Makes you Stronger
  3. Mindful Self Care
  4. Self Care – A Sign of Strength
  5. How Do You Talk to Yourself?
  6. Self Care in the New Year
  7. What is Happiness?
  8. Self Care Through Mindfulness
  9. 5 Self Care Tips

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